life off of the treadmill
Ok but how did she mail a letter on a federal holiday???
Select your friends based on capability/interestingness but then give/expect unconditional support?
Loved this post btw. Your mom comes thru so vividly & she seems incredible.
Could you have your good and capable friends, and also help people as broadly as you can? It feels glib to make an "I would simply" suggestion like that, but I'm not sure I see the conflict between those things.
Though having said that, I suppose I do avoid asking my friends for things that _aren't_ in the "help me with groceries or give me a ride somewhere" sort of category, because I don't want the friendship to feel (or potentially even start to become) transactional in the way you describe. I hadn't really framed it that way to myself, but reading this, I did recognize it as an outcome I explicitly don't want and act to avoid.
This was so honest. My mom is different from yours but I quite relate to how you described yourself and your communities.