A young Asian woman dressed in leopard print and wrapped in a fuzzy blanket was telling me about her new career as an "embodiment coach", and in the moment it seemed not even slightly absurd. This was partially because I was at a house party in the Berkeley hills, only just starting to come down from whatever was in the sticky brown wafer a stranger had offered me several hours ago, but mainly because this woman actually did seem to have the best posture of anyone I'd ever met. Not just posture, actually, but a full sort of mind-body alignment – the way she closed her eyes and swayed from shoulders to hips when she was thinking, or how her spine and neck and gaze all snapped into focus together when she wanted to make a point.
I really feel this. Some folks seem to have this preternatural (to me) ability to just... Do certain things. Some kinds of work, the stuff I know I put off; chores, the things I know will make me feel better to have done, but not to do; even dating and relationships.
One of the hard things for me is figuring out which parts are fixable misalignment and which parts are anxiety, physical things like neuro pathways and neurotransmitters. And on how much that answer matters, if it's something that needs to be done: does it help me find a coping mechanism or tool to make it easy?
Yeah it's a tough question! My personal guess is that even the more physical-ish things like anxiety and neurotransmitters are a little malleable at the margins or at least possible to understand at a different level.
Re: dating and relationships, yeah, the modern dating scene seems broken somehow. It really feels like almost no one is getting what they need from it.
I'm really excited to read more about your journey and process as well! I actually really respect the doing, maybe because I've struggled so much with it myself, and honestly find that ability a bit lacking in our extended community, and I think there are others who would be happier with better executive function. So what I'd really love most is finding a way to incorporate both pieces of it.
Great piece. Not sure how I landed here, but highly relatable. We were in the same HS circles & college albeit a few years apart. The main difference is the SO - we split after college.
I suspect alignment's the way to go. I was very misaligned during my first couple startups. I've only now settled into what "feels good".
This post was super great! Loved it!
Thanks Sapph, really glad to hear it!
I really feel this. Some folks seem to have this preternatural (to me) ability to just... Do certain things. Some kinds of work, the stuff I know I put off; chores, the things I know will make me feel better to have done, but not to do; even dating and relationships.
One of the hard things for me is figuring out which parts are fixable misalignment and which parts are anxiety, physical things like neuro pathways and neurotransmitters. And on how much that answer matters, if it's something that needs to be done: does it help me find a coping mechanism or tool to make it easy?
Yeah it's a tough question! My personal guess is that even the more physical-ish things like anxiety and neurotransmitters are a little malleable at the margins or at least possible to understand at a different level.
Re: dating and relationships, yeah, the modern dating scene seems broken somehow. It really feels like almost no one is getting what they need from it.
Love this and as you know going through somewhat similar situation.
I'm committed to erasing the scripts that have fueled my self worth and held the keys to my body and mind finding peace.
I don't want to be wired for doing as the only mechanism for feeling safe.
Grateful for your vulnerability and for sharing as I get ready to start working on my own drafts exploring this space as well.
The Doing Won't Save Us. Maybe it will. We don't need saving. We have everything we need.
I'm really excited to read more about your journey and process as well! I actually really respect the doing, maybe because I've struggled so much with it myself, and honestly find that ability a bit lacking in our extended community, and I think there are others who would be happier with better executive function. So what I'd really love most is finding a way to incorporate both pieces of it.
Yes!
The balance.
I've always had too much of the doing so I'm trying to find balance going the other way.
Great piece. Not sure how I landed here, but highly relatable. We were in the same HS circles & college albeit a few years apart. The main difference is the SO - we split after college.
I suspect alignment's the way to go. I was very misaligned during my first couple startups. I've only now settled into what "feels good".