loved this :) i have similar tendencies toward control, and a 4yo daughter. i'm finding parenting in general is just one long practice of letting go, little by little - and i hate it!
as a daughter of a father but also as a person, i feel so lucky to have stumbled across your writing. came from the math team article and am now going to pore. thank you for writing, your clarity gives me hope as a young neurotic.
My son didn't walk until 17 months. Later I learned that the CDC guidelines saying 18 months is a red flag for developmental disability was set too late based on the actual distribution of data. He was diagnosed with autism at 7.
A few papers showing the data-informed changes to developmental milestones:
In reality, >97% of kids are walking by 18 months, so they instead recommend putting the "early warning" at about 75th percentile, which is around 15 months.
I know this comment is annoying but in retrospect I wished I had been aware of this at the time so the later diagnosis didn't come as such a shock, because he had "passed" his developmental milestones. The majority of kids who don't walk until 18 months are of course fine, but the risk is substantially elevated compared to earlier walkers.
loved this :) i have similar tendencies toward control, and a 4yo daughter. i'm finding parenting in general is just one long practice of letting go, little by little - and i hate it!
as a daughter of a father but also as a person, i feel so lucky to have stumbled across your writing. came from the math team article and am now going to pore. thank you for writing, your clarity gives me hope as a young neurotic.
thank you for reading and especially for the kind note! yes there is hope! :)
My son didn't walk until 17 months. Later I learned that the CDC guidelines saying 18 months is a red flag for developmental disability was set too late based on the actual distribution of data. He was diagnosed with autism at 7.
A few papers showing the data-informed changes to developmental milestones:
https://publications.aap.org/pediatrics/article-abstract/144/6/e20190374/76997/Establishing-New-Norms-for-Developmental?redirectedFrom=fulltext
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9680195/
In reality, >97% of kids are walking by 18 months, so they instead recommend putting the "early warning" at about 75th percentile, which is around 15 months.
I know this comment is annoying but in retrospect I wished I had been aware of this at the time so the later diagnosis didn't come as such a shock, because he had "passed" his developmental milestones. The majority of kids who don't walk until 18 months are of course fine, but the risk is substantially elevated compared to earlier walkers.